THIS IS WHAT I WANT FOR MYSELF:

I MUST NOT LOSE SIGHT OF WHAT'S IMPORTANT

 I'm now much more motivated than I have been in a long time. I'm ready for more adventures.

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude."

Killing Yourself to Live

I just finished this book on my way home from Seattle. The author takes a journey across the country for two weeks to gain insight on death, and the glorification that arises when someone famous dies. Coincidentally, the book ended when the author was on his way home from Seattle at the Sea-Tac airport which was kind of eerie seeing as how that's where I was also. But anyway, my trip was a breath of fresh air. Saturday was the best day I've had in a long time. The weather was perfect. Jess, Kayla and I spent around 7 hours walking all over the city and stuffing ourselves with ice cream. We walked through Pike Place Market which was overflowing with fresh flowers and produce. I've never seen anything like it. Here are some pictures from our adventure...

Seattle, WA

I have to be up in three hours to leave for the airport. This weekend is going to be such a great time. I'm excited to see my best friend. Recently I have concluded that something is just not right with my life, but it's really difficult to place where these emotions are coming from, especially since I have great things going for me. Hopefully on this trip I can clear my head and get my priorities and thoughts in order. But there is the chance that I will be so busy and caught up in everything going on around me that I won't even get a second to think about anything else. While I was driving the other day I was thinking about how at home I feel when I'm not at home. My happiest moments are when I am traveling. So on that note, I leave in a few hours to go to Seattle..... Good night.

sometimes when i can't sleep i take deep breaths and count them. if that doesn't work i usually turn on a nature show. something about the images are soothing. if i listen to music my mind will focus on the lyrics and i recite them in my head. that keeps me up. i guess this is my last resort, and it's not even that late, which is sad. why is it that you think about all of the things you try to avoid when you are laying in bed at night. the overflowing of deep depressing thoughts this time of the night makes going to sleep my least favorite event. at least when i'm by myself. but as soon as my eyes get tired from the computer screen all these thoughts will pass.

tomorrow is going to be a great day, so maybe i should think about that. if all goes as planned kayla and i will be hitting the beach in our favorite secluded spot. i can't wait.

where has time gone? i'm not sure. it's been months since i have had a second to myself. i'm still trying to figure out if that is a bad thing or not. right now i am perfectly comfortable with how things are and where i am at... but that is what frightens me the most. i can recall a time of uncertainty when i would constantly be thinking about my next move, but now for the most part things are pretty stagnant. good, but stagnant. i think with trying so hard to ensure the happiness of someone else i have neglected myself and my needs.it's not that i am a very needy person, but sometimes you just need time to yourself to reflect on things, and i have been to preoccupied lately to do that. i think that might be why time has accelerated so much.. because i haven't taken moments out of my day to sit and think about my life.i'm going to make an effort to do this more often.

happiness