You are what you love...

When I got home from work today the first thing I saw was my Grandpa parked on the steps of front porch next door. He immediately called my name, to which I responded by running over to see him with the vitality and innocence of a child. I adorned him with my customary kiss on his shiny baldhead. Moments like this fill me with more warmth than I could ever accurately describe. It is the most simple and sincere moments that I ultimately derive my happiness from. I crave times of uncontrollable laughter; split seconds when you forget all of your distress. Instances like these remind me of the fragility of life, and move me to experience as much as I can. It's not just the jovial times which elicit these feelings. I extract lessons from the most traumatic, agonizing affairs in my life and those of the people around me. I always try to remedy these situations with an open mind and a smile on my face. I never want to find myself so fearful and close-minded that I miss out on something. So many people are held back by fear, they let it define them, and limit their abilities. Heroism in its truest form emerges when you stand up to the illusions you create in your mind.

True Romance

The past few days are kind of a blur. It's not that there wasn't anything significant or memorable about them, it's just I have been so preoccupied and haven't even had a chance to think about what has happened. As far as I can remember, Monday was excellent. I finally got back into the habit of going to the gym, which might sound somewhat frivolous, but whatever. I've been slacking on it lately, and sometimes it's the only thing that keeps me sane.To me there is a certain aspect that I find mentally challenging.If I can motivate myself to run longer, or do more reps, then I can surely apply that drive to other parts of my life. Of course it helps that I have a wonderful gym partner who cooks me dinner afterwards!

Yesterday I worked from 7:30 - Noon. After my math class-and a test I completely forgot about- I met up with Kassie and Nate. We went out to get pizza while Nate was on his break. The weather was perfect, so we decided to sit outside. We spent atleast an hour making jokes about everything possible. I can't even begin to describe how ridiculous it is when we all hang out, but I love it! By the time we dropped Nate off at work my stomach and cheeks were sore from laughing so much. Kassie and I stopped by my house so I could change and get ready for class. The car ride to class was outrageous. I can't imagine what people think when they drive up next to us, but it's probably something along the lines of "are they out of their fucking mind?!?!?!" When we arrived, I found out that I made a 90 on my test, so I was pretty excited about that. Later on in the night, I went to Sarah and Quinn's to hang out for a bit. We watched "True Romance", which was pretty fucked up. Alot of funny shit happened, but going into detail wouldn't do it any justice.

Have you ever had a day where everything just seems to fall into place perfectly? That's how today was. Even though it was pretty chaotic at work, everything went well, and I left feeling accomplished. When I was at check in I stumbled across a magazine called "Working Mother". Now, I'm unsure as to why I was so intrigued by this-because I am definitly not within the targeted reader demographics- but regardless, I picked it up and started to flip through it. I probably shouldn't admit to reading an entire magazine article on a day when we had 180 patients, but oh well. The cover story was about a lady who works for Conservation International. Every three months she travels for extensive periods of time to places I have always dreamed about visiting (specifically Africa), and takes part in biodiversity assesments.I couldn't help but be reminded of my Mom right away, and how her passion for the environment and her job were so similar. How coincidental is it that I came across this article describing my ideal job? I'm not sure. But atleast now I can see that it is obtainable. If I have to work for the next 30+ years of my life, I can't think of anything else I would rather do than travel the world and get paid for it at the same time.

It's so funny how one event can make you completely rethink your priorities. It's a shock to see one of your friends go through a huge loss, and to be honest I've been fixated on this ever since it happened, constantly thinking "what if it was my mom?" This past week has been very humbling, and has helped me reevaluate what's truly important to me. Just when you think you have everything figured out, and that you are on the right path, reality swiftly kicks you in the ass, and then you have to adapt your perceptions of what you set apart as significant and valuable. I know that how you deal with situations like this is what gives you character, but let's be honest, more often than not it just seems easier for me to avoid confronation on every level, whether it's with myself, or someone else. But taking the easy way out is not what I want to do.