sometimes when i can't sleep i take deep breaths and count them. if that doesn't work i usually turn on a nature show. something about the images are soothing. if i listen to music my mind will focus on the lyrics and i recite them in my head. that keeps me up. i guess this is my last resort, and it's not even that late, which is sad. why is it that you think about all of the things you try to avoid when you are laying in bed at night. the overflowing of deep depressing thoughts this time of the night makes going to sleep my least favorite event. at least when i'm by myself. but as soon as my eyes get tired from the computer screen all these thoughts will pass.

tomorrow is going to be a great day, so maybe i should think about that. if all goes as planned kayla and i will be hitting the beach in our favorite secluded spot. i can't wait.

where has time gone? i'm not sure. it's been months since i have had a second to myself. i'm still trying to figure out if that is a bad thing or not. right now i am perfectly comfortable with how things are and where i am at... but that is what frightens me the most. i can recall a time of uncertainty when i would constantly be thinking about my next move, but now for the most part things are pretty stagnant. good, but stagnant. i think with trying so hard to ensure the happiness of someone else i have neglected myself and my needs.it's not that i am a very needy person, but sometimes you just need time to yourself to reflect on things, and i have been to preoccupied lately to do that. i think that might be why time has accelerated so much.. because i haven't taken moments out of my day to sit and think about my life.i'm going to make an effort to do this more often.

happiness

Hello 2008

So, I finally found some spare time to update this thing.


The past month has been incredibly amazing. I hit it off with someone completely unexpected. We've been hanging out practically everyday, and I'm really enjoying it. In the past few years, I have never been in a situation like this. For some reason, I wrapped myself up in guys and relationships miles away. I think part of it may have been fear of a true relationship. It seemed easier to keep people at a distance (literally) so that I wouldn''t let myself become so vulnerable. But now, for some reason, that thought hasn't even crossed my mind. Everything just feels right.It's perfect.

Good things are coming our way....

-school's out
-working my ass off
- laughing about everything
-designated driving
-christmas shopping
-bon fires even though it's not cold
-control (the movie)
- watching meteor showers in the park
-my work christmas party
- dressing up
-gambling with someone else's money
-going "all in"
-house sitting
-the things to come
-kayla coming home
-tify fest and raging in atl on new years

'Tis The Season....

Thanksgiving and Christmas are undoubtedly my favorite holidays, for obvious reasons. Among the chaos of meal preparing, present shopping, and family gatherings there is a certain excitement that cannot be characterized by any other time of the year. At least this has always been my experience. I understand that for a lot of people this time of the year can be the most depressing because it serves as a reminder of the things which they do not have, or have to do without. Although the idea of "gift giving" is a pleasant notion, I feel that as a whole it has become an action devoid of its significance. Maybe it is just me, but I would much rather spend time with my family and friends than receive a present of any kind.
This Thanksgiving was perfect. I got to spend much needed time visiting Kayla and roaming around Boston for 6 days. Instead of trying to recap everything, here are some pictures:
This is just the condensed version, given that I don't have the patience to upload a bunch of pictures that very few people will see.
All in all, I am very content with my current circumstances. No complaints here. With in the next month I've got alot to look forward to: christmas festivities, cookie making, secret santas, caroling, tify fest, and a new year.